You see it in a magazine, and its completely chic, trendy and miraculously versatile. You want it. You have to have it! You pre-order it and quickly plan all your outfits that you could wear it with. You sign-up for the e-mail notifications to make you aware of every single shipping process. It finally arrives. You tear the box to shreds. And of course, it's perfect!
You rush to your mirror and try it on. You look. You readjust.
Something just isn't right.. This can't be the same one you ordered? Is it? It doesn't look or feel right...
Perplexed you realize that there was nothing wrong with your order. It has all of the design specifications you wanted, in the same colour, material and detailing.
But it really doesn't look good on you.
Soon, it becomes something that you put in a drawer and hardly think about. One day a friend of yours visits you and fools around with the many thing-a-ma-bobs in your room, and puts it on.
It looks great on them, and you can tell that they like it so you let them have it. It's not like you were using it, or would ever really use it. Plus, its something that would be cherished and used by someone else.
Sometimes we make things out to be more than what they really are. Sometimes we spend so much time obsessing about it that it never really meets our needs or expectations. Sometimes we can only really cherish something from a distance. Sometimes it's not that hard parting with something that you never truly cared about.
"That person you miss, no longer exists." Suddenly it really doesn't hurt anymore.
I only started to feel angry this week about a friend that I had fallen out with. (Yes, another one.) We had stopped talking since the beginning of January, but she had pretty much been absent from my Life for months before. We were 'best friends' for almost 22 years.
It makes me angry to think how the people closest to me treat my so badly. How I let them get away with their apathy and attitude towards our friendship. I had felt I put her behind me, but from time-to-time I get unbelievably pissed off at our past history.
To this day I will stand firm in the belief that she is a good person. But she is the worst fucking friend I could possibly have had.
Memories make you sad.
People just don't do it for me anymore.
They say that being broken is a feeling that really digs at you and cuts you deep. But really, being broken just means you don't feel any of it anymore. You really just don't care or even get yourself to try to care.
It's not a sad thing. Not even really a lonely thing.
I'm shaken to the core I've picked this scab once more You want me to know How happy you've grown to be
I'm not above going down The rollercoaster, the go-round Anything but how, happy you've grown to be Happy without me
Without me, without me, without me, How happy Without me, without me, without me How happy
I'm the land in the fire I'm the shadow, I'm the light And I can't stand to see you happy without me Cause now you're standing high noon With your sun in full bloom So very happy to finally be...
Without me, without me, without me, How happy Without me, without me, without me How happy
Without me, without you Maybe I'm the one in high noon Without me, without you Maybe I'm the one in full bloom Without you, without you Maybe I'm the one...
Without you, without you, without you, How happy Without you, without you, without you How happy
